Sitting here in Starbucks, I am really wanting to work on one of the more intellectuals essays I have drafted recently. But unfortunately, I just do not have the brain juice to do that right now. I continue to move through this mental haze that I have been stuck in for the last few days. I have been tired, depressed, disoriented, and just overwhelmed. The air feels like it did when I used to fall into those nasty, dangerous depressive episodes… Remember those? From a year or so ago?
Anyway, I really do not want to put anything on this blog anymore that is not edited and well thought-out, that is not thoughtful and that doesn’t focus on me. But here I am, and all I have the energy to write is something that will maybe bring me a little support. I feel isolated. I feel a bit stuck. I feel like I have been trying to be too strong for too long.
Yeah, I’m a warrior, but warriors get tired. Why do I seem to be exhausted my resources, even my emergency resources, so quickly?
I’m in a sinking sand of depression and I need help to get out now.
And I will get out. I will get out, hopefully sooner than later. I may suffer for a while, but I will get out. I will get out, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully sooner than… later.
As always, Tanya