Air on a Soul String

First attempt at a (very) short story on this blog. Feedback much appreciated!
………………………………………………….

Eleanor lay on her bedroom floor in a fetal position. Her eyes were shut, but her mind was filled with images– images and colors and blissful agony. Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Air on a G String” flowed out of the speaker on Eleanor’s dresser. And like a serpent, cunning yet dangerous, Bach’s melody slithered into Eleanor’s mind.
.
Such beautiful music. So moving– yet so elusive.
.
She neither welcomed it nor turned it away.
.
The music romanced Eleanor into a helpless state. The serpent sunk it’s fangs in.
.
Eleanor was stuck. Simply listening to the music could never suffice– Eleanor needed to bathe in it, to breathe it, to love it passionately with all of her being.
.
But she could not. She was weak and powerless in its presence.
.
Eleanor felt as if she was in love with a soul that had no body for her to embrace.

Should she surrender?

………………….
Eleanor lay on her bedroom floor in a fetal position. Bach faded gently into the background, but the serpent’s venom had already performed its part.
.
Eleanor neither welcomed it nor turned it away.
But as she lay there
and the room disappeared around her,
a slight smile set
on her unmoving body.

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8 Responses to Air on a Soul String

  1. @dreaming’ – very vivid and intoxicating. It makes us want to know MORE about Eleanor! Interested to see more posts.
    :)Chris

    Like

  2. Writing a book? This an excerpt? If so, this is good 🙂

    Like

  3. Geo Sans says:

    evocative beauty
    ~
    in the power
    we’ll never understand

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you very much! I am sure I will post more about her.

    Like

  5. Thanks! I actually just decided to write a short story/fragment based on what was rolling around in my head at the time. But now that you mention it, I will see what I can build around it to make a bigger story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m glad someone else understands the way I feel (Eleanor feels).

    Like

  7. Yeah! I see a lot of potentials, you should do it. I’d love to read more.

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  8. Thank you very much!

    Liked by 1 person

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