Air on a Soul String

First attempt at a (very) short story on this blog. Feedback much appreciated!

Eleanor lay on her bedroom floor in a fetal position. Her eyes were shut, but her mind was filled with images– images and colors and blissful agony. Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Air on a G String” flowed out of the speaker on Eleanor’s dresser. And like a serpent, cunning yet dangerous, Bach’s melody slithered into Eleanor’s mind.
Such beautiful music. So moving– yet so elusive.
She neither welcomed it nor turned it away.
The music romanced Eleanor into a helpless state. The serpent sunk it’s fangs in.
Eleanor was stuck. Simply listening to the music could never suffice– Eleanor needed to bathe in it, to breathe it, to love it passionately with all of her being.
But she could not. She was weak and powerless in its presence.
Eleanor felt as if she was in love with a soul that had no body for her to embrace.

Should she surrender?

Eleanor lay on her bedroom floor in a fetal position. Bach faded gently into the background, but the serpent’s venom had already performed its part.
Eleanor neither welcomed it nor turned it away.
But as she lay there
and the room disappeared around her,
a slight smile set
on her unmoving body.

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8 Responses to Air on a Soul String

  1. @dreaming’ – very vivid and intoxicating. It makes us want to know MORE about Eleanor! Interested to see more posts.


  2. Writing a book? This an excerpt? If so, this is good 🙂


  3. Geo Sans says:

    evocative beauty
    in the power
    we’ll never understand

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you very much! I am sure I will post more about her.


  5. Thanks! I actually just decided to write a short story/fragment based on what was rolling around in my head at the time. But now that you mention it, I will see what I can build around it to make a bigger story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m glad someone else understands the way I feel (Eleanor feels).


  7. Yeah! I see a lot of potentials, you should do it. I’d love to read more.


  8. Thank you very much!

    Liked by 1 person

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