I like to imagine that my soul has purple wings.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, me neither. But that is just the briefest of introductions to my mind (often spitting out crazy word concoctions and conflicting creations). Sometimes I love my mind, but most of the time it drives me crazy. Literally. It has driven me into a depression so deep that I’ve ended up in a mental hospital. Twice. Because I almost killed myself.
I used to always say that I would never start a blog. I thought blogs were too trendy and narcissistic, and that there were much better ways for the citizens of the world to express their opinions. However, I have changed my mind.
I was in group therapy today, thinking about how I would love to cut myself, as I listened to others talk about their stressful lives. Then finally, I spoke. For five minutes straight, I rambled on and on about my depression and how I would love to have a lobotomy sometimes, and how it’s so difficult for me to truly express my sadness and anger. When I stopped, breathing heavily, I soon realized what a beautiful release it is to verbally express my emotions. While I learn to speak up about my issues less apologetically, I need to have a tool for easy expression in the meantime.
The lovely depressed woman sitting beside me turned to me, gave a sad smile, and suggested that I begin a blog. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a page for me to uninhibitedly express my feelings, and to know that I am (hopefully) being heard.
This all being said, I clearly have much to do concerning setting up my blog. I would very much appreciate feedback on my posts, but only if it is something that you would not hesitate saying to your best friend.
Kind and honest words go father than you or I can imagine.
Before I go and work on the finer details of this little beauty, food for thought:
“Concentrate on what you want to say to yourself and friends. Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness. You say what you want to say when you don’t care who’s listening” – Allen Ginsberg